


Tumblr Scribbles

by All_Wrong



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 04:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19845139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_Wrong/pseuds/All_Wrong
Summary: Some Cissamione prompts, some scribbles, a lot of angst. Maybe some fluff accidentally.





	1. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time someone told me to try writing angst. I tried. This is it.
> 
> Angst (go to chapter 2 for the comfort)

“You told me that it was never meant to be,” Hermione somehow managed to shout, even as her voice kept cracking, “That it could never work. Those were your words, Narcissa.”

 _Please, call me Cissa again._ A simple plea from the depths of her heart her mouth couldn’t utter.

“So, no. You don’t get to say anything to me anymore,” Hermione added her eyes filled with tears, but also with unrelenting determination. That same determination Narcissa had been first captivated by, was now used to shatter her heart.

 _Please, smile at me once more._ Oh, what she would not have given to see even a hint of softness in her now.

Hermione backed away from her, before tearing her eyes from Narcissa and storming out. Narcissa was left standing alone and her throat ached as she fought to keep at bay the tears her heart wanted to cry out.

 _Please, don’t leave me._ She begged in her mind.

When a sob tried to escape she covered her mouth with her hand and only then realized how hard she was shaking. A sob, muffled by her palm, finally got out and she dropped on the couch as the tears came.

 _Please, come back to me._ But as much as she hoped, it was never going to be.

After all, it was exactly what she deserved. Her stubbornness and arrogance had cost her the only person that could love her. For real. Not for her titles or for her social status. Just for her.

_Please, let me try again._

She fell on her side, hugging a pillow and her heart ached. She closed her eyes and whispered her last plea -

_“Please, Hermione. I love you.”_


	2. Please 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _anon asked: so... um... would it be possible to make your angsty drabble... a little... happier? because ouch? (Really great btw but ouch)_
> 
> Hurt/comfort

Weeks passed, and Narcissa stayed mostly at home. It was easier to pretend everything was fine when she didn’t have to do it in front of others.

Her son had noticed something was wrong and refused to believe her even as she kept telling him that everything was fine.

As had her sister who kept asking her what had happened.

Neither one had no idea, of course, why her expression was so pained when she thought no one was looking. No one knew of the woman she now tried so hard not to think about.

Unfortunately, her dreams were harder to control.

Hermione appeared almost every night – only to leave her again.

Two months later Andromeda had had enough of ‘nothing being wrong’ and dragged her out of the house. Despite her initial resistance, she couldn’t disagree that spending the day idly shopping with her sister was making her forget about everything for a moment.

It was until a laughter she heard and instantly recognized made her stop in her tracks and turn around towards it.

“Her-,” she started but stopped what she thought was just in time, but it was foolish of her to assume it had gone unnoticed by Andromeda who had first followed her startled gaze and was now looking at Narcissa with a questioning look.

When Hermione’s eyes met hers, Narcissa’s breathing hitched.

Quickly, she excused herself and started walking towards an alleyway. It wasn’t until she stopped and realized how out of breath she was, that she knew she must have ran away and for quite a while. She huffed at herself, how utterly pathetic.

Just as she was about to apparate home, she noticed someone was approaching fast.

“Narcissa!” Hermione called out as she caught up to her, equally out of breath. “Are you alright? Andy told me to…”

Of course, Andromeda had intervened. “I’m perfectly fine,” she said, even if she was the furthest from it, but breaking apart in front of Hermione wasn’t an option.

Hermione’s brow furrowed with worry, and she stepped closer. “You ran,” Hermione simply said, like it was the oddest thing to ever happen. “Why?”

 _This had to be a dream_ , Narcissa told herself. Any second Hermione would leave, and she would wake up once again with tears on her face. Although in her dreams she never looked quite so… gentle _._

“Narcissa?” Hermione said softly and reached out to touch her forearm. Feeling the warmth of her touch made Narcissa swallow – this was no dream.

She studied the woman in front of her and the hurt she was feeling morphed to something akin anger.

Two months.

Had it really been so easy for Hermione that there was not a trace of anger or sadness she could pick up on? Narcissa stepped back, out of Hermione’s reach and her hand slowly fell back to her side.

 _It must be easy to be so young, to move on so quickly_ , she thought as she wiped a traitorous tear that threatened to roll down. She averted her gaze, “You should go,” was all she could make herself say.

“No.”

“Hermione, _please,”_ Narcissa hated how weak she sounded, but she refused to break down in front of the woman she herself had forced out of her life.

“No,” Hermione had taken a step towards her again, “I’m not going until you tell me why you ran.”

She turned back to face her, and the words rolled off her tongue far too angrily, “Because I love you.”

Shielded by her anger she managed to keep looking at Hermione, who at first looked surprised, then baffled before settling into a look Narcissa would call curiosity – which certainly wasn’t what she had expected. “You love me?”

During their time together, Hermione had told her several times she loved her, each time Narcissa remembered vividly. She had never said it, she had thought of it, more times she could recall but it was always impossible.

Or that was what she had told herself at the time.

“Does it matter?” Narcissa said, her anger subsided. She only felt defeated and could hardly care what her expression was revealing. All she wanted was to leave.

As she tried, she felt Hermione’s hand wrap around her wrist, “Yes, it does! It so does.” Narcissa looked at the hand wrapped around her wrist, a little too tightly, and followed up the arm to meet Hermione’s eyes.

And she saw it, the same pain she herself carried. Her beautiful brown eyes welling up with tears and Narcissa knew. It wasn’t too late.

She would do everything in her power to make this work.

“I’m so sorry, Hermione,” Narcissa said as she closed the distance, and brought her hands to cup Hermione’s face, “I am so sorry.”

Hermione smiled at her, “Could you say it again? Maybe little less angry this time?”

Narcissa chuckled, a sense of relief washing over her, “Yes, of course. I will keep saying it until you get bored of me.”

“Never.”

“I love you.”


	3. Splinched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _For rubikanon because she did a thing._
> 
> Angst with a happy ending

Hermione could hear Narcissa break down, she could hear her sobs. But nothing, nothing Narcissa could have said or done would have made her stay. Not anymore.

***

“You really left her?“ Harry asked his brow furrowing in confusion. "Hermione…”

“Harry. I do not want to talk about this.” Hermione huffed, almost angry. It had been a week since she had walked out on Narcissa. A week she had spent questioning her decision. She certainly didn’t need Harry doing that too.

“I’m sorry, but Narcis–”

“Do not say her name,” Hermione spat out, biting back tears, “Do not.”

Harry looked at her, his expression turning to worry.

 _“Please,”_ Hermione said her voice cracking, “Please, I just can’t.”

***

There was a knock on the door, which surprised Narcissa. She certainly wasn’t expecting anyone, especially not one Harry Potter whom she found standing outside her front door.

She invited him in and after few common courtesies asked him why he was there.

Harry looked down to his feet, and seemed to be collecting himself. Something was clearly wrong.

A sudden feeling of dread hit Narcissa and there was only one question in her mind, “Where is Hermione?“

***

‘She splinched.’ Harry’s words kept repeating in Narcissa’s mind as she waited outside the ward she had been told Hermione was in. 'She splinched and they don’t think she will make it.’ 

***

"I am sorry, Miss Black, but you are not a member of her family, I cannot let you in,” the nurse said again, unwavering under Narcissa’s glare.

“You will let me in, if you know what is best for you,” Narcissa said, clenching her jaw. “If my memory serves me right it was after all your brother who sold…” she was stopped by the nurse. She didn’t enjoy using blackmail, but on this occasion she was ready to go to any lengths to get to the other side of that door.

The nurse murmured something in response and allowed her to go in and she saw Hermione sitting on the edge of the bed.

Hermione looked up and looked equally astonished to see Narcissa as Narcissa was to see her okay. “Narcissa? Why are you here?”

“I thought… Harry told me you…” Narcissa said, and could feel a sense of relief wash over her, “You are alright?”

“I am, there was a little incident, but I’m fine. What did Harry do?” Hermione asked, a little annoyed.

“He… It doesn’t matter,” Narcissa said and stepped closer to Hermione, “I am just… I am so sorry.”

***

“You got married?!” Ginny practically screeched. “To Narcissa?!”

“Uh. Yes,” Hermione responded trying to ignore her friend who had suddenly barged into her office. “Ginny, I have…”

“You got married? A month ago you swore you would never lay eyes on her again.”

“Yes, well,” she said trying to concentrate on the documents in front of her, “Narcissa can be very persuasive when she wants to be.”

“Persuasive? That is what you’re calling this?” Ginny said dropping into the chair opposite Hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes, “When I was in the hospital, they wouldn’t let her in to see me and she didn’t take that very… um, well.”

Ginny stared at her in disbelief. “And you got married.”

“Basically.”

_“Bloody hell.”_


	4. Every Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Major Character Death
> 
> Angst with angst

“Cissy, please. You need to stop. For your own sake,” Andromeda pleaded and looked at her, with ever increasing worry in her eyes.

“I know,” Narcissa responded quietly, avoiding her sister’s gaze, exactly like she would every morning, “But just not yet.”

Then, like every morning, she would leave the dining room and head to the library to curl up in what had been Hermione’s chair and wait in front of an empty portrait of another library hanging alone on the wall.

Every morning Hermione would appear, always exactly at the same time. Always on time, which made Narcissa smile. It reminded her of _her_ Hermione even if this painted version of her did not know Narcissa as anyone else except a Death Eater’s wife.

Which meant that every morning they would have to go over the same topics.

And every morning, at some point Hermione would say, “Did you know, Mrs. Malfoy…”

And every morning, Narcissa would correct her with a sad smile that she tried to hide, “Black-Granger.”

And Hermione would look back at her, wearing that curious look on her face that Narcissa recognized. That look that made her remember so much and miss her Hermione even more.

Hermione would ask about it, and on some mornings Narcissa would tell her the story of them. On some mornings she would just ask for Hermione to keep talking about whatever. Just to be allowed to hear her voice again.

Eventually Hermione would have to move on, as there were other portraits she had to visit.

“Mrs. Malf— _Narcissa_ ,” Hermione would always say, “I’m so sorry, so sorry.”

Sorry for not remembering any of their previous conversations, sorry for the real Hermione being gone. And Narcissa hoped she could touch her and brush that rebellious curl that kept falling over Hermione’s eye, when she told it wasn’t Hermione’s fault.

Not the one in the portrait, nor her Hermione’s.

And every morning the goodbyes got more difficult for Narcissa. This Hermione wouldn’t remember her the next day, but Narcissa remembered each conversation, she remembered each day and she didn’t even need to look that deep into her heart to know Andromeda was right.

She needed to stop.

As Hermione vacated the portrait, Narcissa hugged the pillow in her arms even tighter. It had been months now, and it hadn’t gotten any easier. She really needed to stop, she reminded herself as she finally got up and stopped in the doorway.

And like every morning, she told herself that tomorrow would be the last day she’d come and curl up in front of the portrait.

Repeating the lie. Like she did every morning.


End file.
